Monday, July 30, 2012

I suck when it comes to consoling people.
The only thing I'm capable of doing is silly things which I hope will make them smile or even better, laugh.
But sometimes these things I say/do backfire and I'll make the person feeling worse.

Trust me, I know how it feels to be paranoid.
I know how it feels to be unsure of your place in another's life.
At times like these, hold onto whoever's worth holding onto. If the rest are meant to be in your life, they will come back, one way or another.
Sure, there may be tears or disappointment involved, but isn't that life?

I hope it'll mean something but I'm here for you, just a text/call away, for sure. :x

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Pink & Purple


Googled Van Volkswagen pink and I got this. SO PRETTY..................


 If I can't own this, I want to at least get to ride in it at least once in my sad life!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

LOTR The Two Towers on TV now :D

Anw NTS

Be kind too.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Today was hard to go through.


It's been awhile since I felt this way.


Grateful for so many's presence.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Saving my heart!


Haha, I wonder how long I can abide to these rules.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Pictures Post

iPhone Cover I really want! :D


Polaroid with Lily :x

Tyki :x

A picture of the sky I snapped yesterday. It looks like some god landed on Earth. With the clouds and everything making it dramatic and real!

Potential Yoga instructor?

And pictures from F&B presentation last last week.
Chinszx

Zejun and le fat-faced me.

With Joanne and CY's photobomb damn funny I can't even...

Joanne again!

With Mich! Haha, gonna spend 5 months with her at Shangri-la in Sept! :)

That's all now, bye! :)
Saw my friend's blog post about secondary school life.
I miss it so so much.


Click here! to view the post.

Sigh!
Friends really do come and go, I guess.

It'll be pretty impossible for the clique to meet up and clique all over again eh?


Had an awesome brunch at New York New York with the sis today.
Told her everything that's been going on and felt like I lifted a weight off my chest.
Somehow, even though I'm not perfect, she's always here and she listens. Appreciate that. :x

Then later on I had a family gathering at my Aunt's and it was great chatting with my cousins and all. The family is so big with so many different types of personality and flaws to get used to but it's all possible because...we're family.


It's 1:20am now, I'm stuck on my assignment and I miss you so much.
I should sleep.
Goodnight :x

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Chaos in my mind

Looked through my archives and I really can't help but feel sad and depressed.

I know it's all in the past and I know I have someone here who's too good for me and whom I don't deserve.

But when I look at us and how we used to be, it scares me.
Why did we become like this?
Will this happen to my future relationship too?

I'm so afraid to love again, so afraid to be confident in a relationship.
What if things don't work out again?
What if I lose another person again?
I always treat my bf as a bf and a best friend because I tell him everything.
But it's not a good thing because when I lose him, I lose both of him.

Just like how I lost both of you.
We were supposed to be friends, at the very least.
We were supposed to remain good friends, like you promised. Not this, not cold war and awkward moments.
I don't know how to start the next phase of my life with things ending off like this.
Sure, you left my life, never to come back again. But I wanted things to end on a good note. Not like this.


I want things to be good again. Not because then I can be guilt-free, but because I cherish you as a friend.

As time goes by, maybe I'll regret losing you as a friend.
But I will never regret choosing the path I had chosen.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Been blogging quite a lot these days, like maybe a few posts in a day.
I don't know why but I just keep having these urges to blog whenever something pops up in my mind.

Anyway, this week was tiring I guess?
Lack of sleep, constantly preoccupied mind, and so much more.

But, yep, there were good times too, like my impromptu dinner date with Yanpoop, Lily and Rachy on Wednesday. It was last minute but still I enjoyed chatting with them. Plus I got to see my boy for abit after that :)

And on Thursday, I went to work at a Coach event at Wisma Atria with Jo's contacts. It was fun and I was definitely star-struck because I saw Simon Yam!!! Ok I think most people won't know him but he's a HK actor who starred in many classic HK films like Ip Man, Ip Man 2, and so many more! :o


After the event, I had supz with C and it was good. :x

On a side note, he's leaving Singapore over the weekends and I have to chiong my part for DPD now. :(

This!

Precious

At times like these,

Hold on to the important ones.

And I know just who I really really want & need in my life. Thank you so much for your presence, all of you.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

There are many things money can't buy and fix.

Friendship
Love
Time
Past
Future

The list goes on.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Crumble

There are many times these days when I just feel like staying home and spend time with just myself, and Tyki of course.
It's so tired to face people sometimes. It's like you don't know what they're thinking, you don't know how they feel and you can't possibly have a clue at all.
Fortunately I still have a bunch of precious people in school whom I can still speak to freely without worrying that they might judge me or dislike me even. I appreciate their presence so much words are useless.

Even so, I now find school such a chore that I can't wait to graduate.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Isn't it kind of ironic that social networking sites which are supposed to let people socialize and make friends are in a way a platform for countless misunderstandings and the downfall of friendships?

Am considering deactivating my Twitter account because of how it affects me so negatively.

Mind over matter.
Mind over matter.
Mind over matter.

Should not let paranoia overwhelm me.


Thank god you're here.
Thank god I found you.

Monday, July 16, 2012


Took this picture with Instagram and it received many likes on both Facebook and Instagram!
I'm not saying I'm a good photographer or whatever, I've done nothing except snap the picture. The sky really is beautiful like that.

I've always loved the sky. Everchanging, so effortlessly beautiful. I wonder just how many people will stop to look at the skies everyday because I do. It never fails to leave me in awe and I know that from other countries, I can see a much more beautiful sky than in Singapore. I hope I can leave this place when I grow up. Leave this well. And see the bigger piece of sky out there.


Love his hair oh ma goddddd. 
He looks good even with pink eyebrows lol.



Mind over matter


What is Paranoia?

Paranoia involves feelings of persecution and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Paranoia occurs in many mental disorders and is rare as an isolated mental illness. Since the delusions involve only one area, a person with paranoia can usually work and function in everyday life, however, their lives may be limited and isolated. There are different types of paranoia including conjugal paranoia, erotomania, hypochondriacal paranoia, and different types of paranoid disorders such as paranoid personality and paranoid schizophrenia.

Symptoms of Paranoia:

Symptoms of paranoia and paranoid disorders include intense and irrational mistrust or suspicion, which can bring on sense of rage, hatred, and betrayal. Some people suffering from paranoid personality may have a high capacity to annoy or enrage others because of rigid and maladaptive behavior. Some identifiable beliefs and actions of paranoid-related disorders include mistrust, taking offense easily, difficulty with forgiveness, defensive attitude in response to imagined criticism, preoccupation with hidden motives, fear of being deceived or taken advantage of, inability to relax, argumentative, abrupt, stubborn, self-righteous, and perfectionistic.

What Causes Paranoia?

The cause of paranoia is a breakdown of various mental and emotional functions involving reasoning and assigned meanings. The reasons for these breakdowns are varied and uncertain. Some symptoms of paranoia may arise from repressed, denied or projected feelings. Paranoid thoughts and feelings can become part of a delusional system through an accident, a misunderstanding or minor injustice, heightened intimacy, or increased responsibility.

Treatment of Paranoia

Treatment of paranoia is usually via behavior therapy which is aimed at reducing sensitivity to criticism and improving social skills. It can be difficult to treat a person with paranoia as they may be irritable, emotionally guarded, hostile, and unwilling; therefore, progress is slow. Therapy attempts to break the cycle of suspicion and isolation by using relaxation and anxiety management and by aiding the person to change certain behaviors.
It's a tiring thing to live with.
I'm so determined to get over it. But I wonder if it's because I care too much that I am so paranoid.
"The ones who matter don't mind and the ones who mind don't matter". I should only care about those who care for me. 
The rest are just people in my life who will leave, I'm pretty sure. 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Bliss

The past week was draining.
Had less than 6 hours of sleep everyday and it all accumulated and resulted in an exhausted me. Maybe you'll think HUH?! 6 HOURS IS ALOT! But to someone who loves to sleep, like me, its insufficient k. :(

But! I loved how I spent my time last week. With friends doing projects and chionging together, then reserving my nights for the boy. Life's good when I get to see him and I love how we just make time for each other even though we're both busy and tired.

Sometimes I look back at my past relationships and I get paranoid and scared because I don't know if it'll happen to us too. I mean, this is how ALL relationships start out, no?
Sweet talking, falling in love, getting together, then things turn sour and the sparks are gone.
Although I've had a couple of relationships before, I'm still an amateur at keeping someone I love.
And sad to say, I haven't really mastered the art of controlling my temper, which I think is a major factor of all my failed relationships.
Hmm.


Time will tell, I guess?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

So I had the worst prata and Indian rojak ever!!!

But my companion was the greatest! :D


Monday, July 9, 2012

On normal days I would have raged and lashed out at someone.
Thank you for keeping me calm and making me smile again! :)



OK LSO LET'S GO.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Too much to handle

You know that feeling when you're just so tired of what people think of you but you can't help it?

I guess I'm pretty self-conscious.
I know how all this looks like. People will prolly think "wow look that girl got over her ex within less than a month AGAIN."
I guess this is just me..
When I've fought the hardest I could to salvage a relationship and to no avail, I'll let it go.
Yes, let go. That's what everyone told me to do. To me, the more hurt I am, the easier it is for me to let go. I won't look back, I won't have anymore hopes for it. Yet, why does it seem like letting go is the wrong thing to do? Why is it that people are judging me for moving on?
Sure I fell for him a little too quickly. We were in the same situation and we understood each other perfectly. But there was more than that. We could clique well, we weren't awkward on our first date, he makes me smile just by thinking of him... You get what I mean.
Maybe I fall in love too easily, so easy that even I hate myself for it sometimes. But I can't help it. I really can't. The feelings just come to me and I did not ignore it.

But one thing's for sure. Neither of us let anyone down.
Yep, we went ahead with our feelings, texted each other everyday for the past week, but we are both single.
Our ex dumped us.
So who exactly are we letting down?
Maybe he should have observed the bro code and not go after his friend's ex. But in my perspective, he's really like picking up a trash. I know, I'll call myself trash because its the best way to explain this situation. They say "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I was unwanted, dumped. So why is it wrong that he saw something in me and picked me up from where I was?

I choose to believe that you are worried that we'll make the wrong choice, that we'll treat each other as rebounds and get hurt in the end. I choose to believe that all these assumptions and hurtful words came out of care and good intentions.
I treasure my friends as much as I treasure him. And he too, cherishes you guys more than anything.

I'm in no position to say anything more.
But just think about it, neither of us has been this happy since one month ago. None (few) of you saw how broken we were. Sure, I fell in love too quickly, but I ended up holding on the longest. I loved until it became too difficult to. So I think how fast I get over someone and how quickly I fall for someone doesn't determine how long I can stay in love with a person (not sure if this is a concern too).


Anyhoo, I just hope you guys will see. Anyway it's not like we're getting together or what. It's really just feelings and dating, for now.


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Every time I meet you, its like the Earth stops spinning and we live in that moment, nothing else matters.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Was looking for pictures about service and I saw this. 


Haha.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

My heart feels too heavy.
We're not doing anything wrong, we're not letting anyone down.
But why is this so hard?

My paranoia will kill me someday.

From the bottom of my heart

Been smiling too much I'm sure some people think I'm nuts.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

DEAR FRIENDS

Please help me complete this survey if you're aged between 20 yrs or lower!
Thank you!!! :) 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

July

Bought double chocolate Chips More cookies thinking there will be more chips. But its really just cookies in charcoal colour.

Anyway, its July. :)
June hasn't been good to me, really. And I'm sure it wasn't good to many other couples out there who broke up during this month! Call me superstitious but 8 couples in a month?
Someone left but someone entered my life.
I guess it really is fate? That someone has to leave before I will meet someone else?

I don't know how my life will turn out. For now, let's just live the present. :)